Now, we ain't sayin these are writ in stone...

The Rules, as of TaxDay 1998, as understood by the Jester

I. Prospects/Colors

You, as a recruit, will be sponsored by a voting clubmember in order to obtain your rockers. There is a ninety day period beginning when you sew your rockers onto your vest and ride with the club. At the end of these 90 days 6 votes are cast and if unanimously in your favor, you receive your center patch and all club frills, like making the prospects buy you drinks, and not having to carry the big chain lock.

Colors can be pulled. While there are no really good rules about that yet, but we keep it as a threat to sound meaner. Make it through 4 months and we probably know you well enough. There is currently the "Pin of Shame" circulating, which I think Whiskers wore right then for crashing the tallbike. So we can be punishing. Link proudly.

II. Mission Statement

Bein' as we thought of it after stop-gapping the onslaught of recruits, it's coming along a little slow.

I want "~We just want to ride our bikes and not get hassled by the man" and am searching the web for the sample.

Should be discussed in May.

III. General Behavior

The Queen, espescially, and others of the court frown gravely upon Thursday night excessive drunkenness resulting in lame or otherwise inadequate excuse making come club night.

And keep your bike in tip-top shape. It is your responsibility, not that of the shop or the club or your mom, to ride proud as a group, in stout formation, upon a worthy steed, and avoid distressing mechanical failure. If one of us must walk while out on manuevers, we as a group assume walking pace; all are there for the weakest always. But walking and slow circling sucks when we could all ride tough, so keep this in mind. Tool carrying is always a ride option, we have a fine trike.

IV. Grooming

Hairstyle: Hair must be completely shaved, free to grow at will, or somewhere inbetween. Eccentricities, such as dreadlocks, braids, long drooping and/or handlebar mustachios, sideburns, hat-head, waxed eyebrows, Brylcreem, colored dyes, and enourmous ear and/or nose hair, are allowed and encouraged.

Jewelery: Leather knickname bracelets, bike chain wristlets, fancy rings, earrings, barbells, beaded chain,spacers/retainers, and fancy beads are all appropriate to wear with colors.

Tattoos: Hell yeah, if you desire.

Perfumes: Scents popular include Vanilla, Tiger Balm, bike grease, Simple Green, and Jim Beam.

Rules Revisions 6/6/98

I. Prospects/Colors

a. sewing One must sew on their own colors. This cannot be stressed enough, none of that having help from the more proficient. Thimbles, needles, and thread are available to the needy for the asking from the others; it is you who must prick your finger, thread the needle, and pierce the fabric. Safety-pinning is a viable alternative for only your first club ride.

b. vests Your colors will be sewn to a vest, that is a non-sleeve bearing garment. There is an undeniable toughness associated with vest wearers that we are happy to exploit. Besides, the vest is a totally cool wardrobe piece, just as at home over a simple black T, a longsleeve or turtleneck, or sweatshirt, or jacket! Seriously, though, any vest will do when you ride strong along, with your colors attached. There is no excuse for not owning and wearing a vest once supplied with colors.

II. Mission Statement

Further drunken discussion has resulted in absolutely no revisions to the mission statement. Our Road Captain has since given it his highest praise. Queen and King need to see the movie freshly.

III. General Behavior

a. respect Others in our midst as a group must respect all the court's decisions in our membership. We are tight-knit and eminently protective of our clan; selection is an excruciating process those with the center patch have endured. Those who we meet post-ride-blissed have no idea what it is all about, but are met with a far-open mind and a cordial invitation to prospect.

b. sloppiness Sloppiness is to be avoided at all costs, especially punishable when wearing colors. Know where your wheels are, know where your hands are, and pilot your craft. Sloppiness on the ride is inexcusable.

c. comradery While it is nice to rest on another's shoulder astride a tallbike at an intersection, the more irritable among us question the pride of such an act. A member by member examination of this action has begun. Towing has proved enjoyable.

IV. Grooming

Hairstyle: Pig-tails, while always allowed, have recently been extra encouraged. Summertime.

Jewelry: Spokes, and cable-ends plus a 20 cent crimp make fabulous bracelets.

Tattoos: Dead Baby in old english-y writing has spread to two members. We have yet to find a willing artist to draw many intertwining spokes in a short period of time.

Perfumes: The Rendezvous has an above-sink soap dispenser quite useful in the removal of bike grease and the bike grease scent. It provides a not unpleasant perfume in return.

V. Club Rides

These are processionally similar to parades, and to funerals. An awesome presence occurs when we roll through. People stop and think. This is reason enough.

Record size posted on ride page.

We generally meet at the Rendez or the shop or somewhere inbetween on Fridays, post-work, call it 6.

VI. Clubhouse

The Clubhouse is a place of business and a place of pleasures. The bay door opens infrequently as of late to limit access to the nest. We work on bikes inside, and like to have the door open at least on sunny weekend days, so come by and see?

In a pinch, others may offer you access to their clubhouse in search of a spare fastener, and most shops should provide the asker a few swings with the big hammer.


Rules Revisions 12/18//98

I. Prospects/Colors

a. ii. sewing Only original members have one-piece colors, as they didn't go through the prospecting process. You can tell with close inpection.

c. voting If it should come to pass that a prospect fails votes for extension as well as induction, well, we just don't know what to do.

d. requirements i. build and ride a crazy bike ii. ride a tall-bike, probably T-001 on a club ride iii. show your face around the shop, especially on club-rides, or shortly thereafter with an extensive explanation

II. Mission Statement

a. rote memorization As a requirement for membership you should memorize the mission statement. Not only may the King demand your instant recitation, but that way when the whole club is toasting glasses a-lifted you can join in whole-heartedly.

III. General Behavior

a. ii. respect Keep your nose clean. Watch for tempers. Step on no toes. Toe the line. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

b. ii. sloppiness Sloppiness is far more easy to embrace after your bike is stowed safely at the shop. Still not so cool though.

c. ii. comradery There's usually people who'll buy ya a drink when you're thirsty.

IV. Grooming

Hairstyle: Cold weather has put a crimp in hairstyles, with most riders donning warm snuggly hats to protect the ears from chilly winds whistling. We are fully dedicated to fancy hat wearing.

Jewelry: Big leather belts in various decoration are available at the Puyallup Fair stamped with anything you want.

Tattoos: Roni at Mind's Eye was coerced into drawing one wheel, with the standard flaming heart, and the Dead Baby name. Three members now.

Perfumes: Gin imbues a piney scent, and this time of year 101-proof Peppermint Schnapps makes you and your hot chocolate smell festive. American Spirit and Camel tobaccos seem favorite personal incenses.

V. Club Rides

These are bitterly small and frigid as the solstice approaches. At this latitude the sun will only be up for a scant 7 or so hours come the day.

We pedal fiercer and wear gloves.

VI. Clubhouse

The Clubhouse has been rather closed as of late, with the King away working on boats. Emergency repair by appointment only.

Don't get all blasted in there without the King. The percolator makes a fine pot of hot water and provides necessary heat. Once we get a-welding maybe it'll get warm.


Rules Revisions 5/9/1999


I. Prospects/Colors

a. ii. sewing Apparently needle and thread and thimble are not available in the outback of Washington State.

c. voting If it should come to pass that a prospect fails votes for extension as well as induction, well, we can just make them honorary members. Or kick their asses.

d. requirements iv. truth be known: we like to all take turns riding your bike before we vote for you, we usually make you watch when we go on rides around the block with it and have our way, one after the other...

II. Mission Statement

b. It's slowly sneaking into all our consciences.

III. General Behavior

a. ii. respect

b. ii. sloppiness Easy with the ice cubes, captain.

c. ii. comradery There's usually people who'll give ya a hug, and some who'll charge a dollar for it.

IV. Grooming

Hairstyle: The king cut his dreads for April Fool's Day.

Tattoos: Roni again has spread ink to our members.

Perfumes: Gojo orange. Citrusy.

V. Club Rides

Are getting bigger as the sun keeps the world warmer these days.

Prospects are prospecting, even strangers are showing up.

VI. Clubhouse

The Clubhouse currently has a motorcycle in it, being somewhat chopped.

It's doing bike-shop business in the weekday afternoons for the spring/summer.

Be sure to check out the newly completed shrine to the Bicycle Jesus!



Rules Revisions 10/9/1999
it's messenger appreciation day!!


I. Prospects/Colors

a. ii. sewing The more maniacal insist on sewing entire patches on with a single monofilament nylon thread. Dedication is always rewarded.

c. voting There exist 6 pairs of dice, 6 red 6 green, which are dropped into the Crown Royal sack, slop going into Cappy's everpresent pocket. Six greenies come out of the sack, and you're approved.

d. requirements iv. Prospects must know the secret knock,. the secret hand signal, the mission statement, and whatever else we whimsically demand. It keeps getting tougher, as we as well.

II. Mission Statement

c. Peter Fonda has admitted that he is not as cool as his Captain America character in Easy Rider, but we'd like to think he's enough the guy in Wild Angels.

III. General Behavior

b. ii. sloppiness Sloppiness is hard to avoid what with strong drink being a staple in our rides. Pin of Shame for sure.

c. ii. comradery Falling on fellow club members from atop the tallbike is detrimental to comradery. But things happen. Double riding is an extreme, dangerous, and fabulously fun solution.

IV. Grooming

Hairstyle: Bald (to reveal the tat) is once again supported with Bubbles' brief visit from the frozen northland of Alaska.

Tattoos: see above

Perfumes: The inevitable stink of Guinness permeates some. There's Irish Spring in the pottyroom, fresh, and clean as a whistle.

V. Club Rides

Goodness my they have taken on a mind of themselves. Excursions have become huge, extensive forays across the wilds of the car clogged urban world. Post-race fanaticism has forced even the lame to mount and ride.

Injruries are on an upswing, proper homage to the Bicycle Jesus a symbiotic down slide.

VI. Clubhouse

The Clubhouse is packed with bicycles. Motorcycles come and go, repaired and renewed.

The lead mechanic has been in and out, the tool stash dwindles to nearly nothing at times, November looks like the time for it to live once more.

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